Friday, August 19, 2011

Relationships 101

While I'm no expert in the relationship department, I do know a thing or two about love and how to keep a relationship strong. I've been with my high school sweetheart for over 5 years now and my friends are always asking me for advice, so each Friday, I'll post one thing that I've learned from my relationships. So tip #1:

Don’t pick fights you know you’re going to lose. This one is obvious but we all do it. Constantly. They say "choose your battles" and in a relationship this statement is incredibly true. If you know you did something wrong, then take ownership of your mistakes and apologize. But if it’s an issue that you really believe in, don’t back down and give in. Listen to his side but also voice your own opinion. If it’s an issue that is really important to you, try to work something out and if he doesn’t want to, then he’s just not worth your time.

Sometimes, we like to pick fights because we’re just in the mood to argue. I do this all the time (I can’t help it!). I think arguing can be really beneficial to a relationship but it really depends on what you’re arguing about, how often and how you go about arguing. Here are some tips that I use when arguing (and I win most of them by the way =P).

· Start by using “I” instead of “you” as in “I feel that there’s a lot of your clothes lying around” instead of “You leave your clothes everywhere”

· Stay calm. I know this is easier said than done but if you can keep calm; it’s easier for you to think clearly and reason with your partner.

· Reiterate your partner’s point of view. By repeating what he said, it shows that you’re listening and considering his side of the argument so that he is more open to listening to yours.

· Don’t use personal attacks. This is probably the most important tip. Arguments are beneficial when you both learn something and come out of it stronger as a couple, if you attack each other personally; it’s only going to damage your relationship. Personal attacks just make you look petty.

Hopefully this helps! Happy Friday!

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