Friday, October 7, 2011

Talk it Out


A common theme I’ve found in failed relationships was the lack of communication. In the past, I kept all my pet peeves a secret. Any time he did something that bothered me or upset me, I would bottle it inside. Over time, the anger and frustration grew and I would begin to get irritated at the slightest things. Not talking about what bothered me made me miserable and I just wasn’t happy. Then my boyfriend and I made a pact to be completely honest with each other and we decided to communicate more.

But being honest with each other isn’t the only key to successful communication. You need to know when to say something and you need to know the right thing to say, or the right way to say it. Sometimes it’s just inappropriate to say certain things at certain times. For example, if she’s telling you how fat and self-conscious she’s feeling, don’t say “oh and those jeans don’t help you either.” In those cases, your honesty isn’t appreciated and will only get you in hot water. But, if it’s true that those jeans really don’t do her justice, there’s a better way to go about telling her that. You could pick another item she has in her closet that you like and tell her she looks hot in it. That way, you help boost her confidence and you get her out of those ill-fitting jeans.

In relationships, I think a lot of problems could be solved through communication. If he says something that I don’t agree with, we talk it out, we both present our points and we try to reason with each other. Talking about your issues help both of you see where the other person is coming from. Sometimes there are issues that no matter how much you talk it through, it can’t be solved but if there’s a chance that things could work out, then why not try?

Increasing our communication has done wonders for my relationship. I feel like we have a greater understanding of each other. Talking though our disagreements shows me his thought process and helps me to appreciate where he’s coming from. I really believe that the key to the success of my relationship has been our ongoing communication and honesty.

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